Parenting Perspective 

Separation tears at drop-off usually signal anxiety, not defiance. Your child is navigating two powerful needs at once: the need for closeness with you and the pull of a busy, unpredictable environment. The goal is not to eliminate their feelings, but to make the transition predictable, brief, and connected so their nervous system can settle. 

Prepare the Goodbye Before You Arrive 

Discuss the drop-off plan at home so your child knows what to expect. You can talk about the journey, who will greet them, the goodbye routine, and the first activity they will do with their teacher. To provide comfort, you can pack a small, permitted item that carries your scent or presence, such as a hand-drawn heart on their wrist or a tiny note in their pocket. Previewing the routine reduces uncertainty, which in turn reduces clinging. 

Use a Short, Scripted Ritual 

Keep the handover process warm and swift. It is helpful to kneel to make eye contact, acknowledge your child’s feelings, and anchor the sequence. You might say, ‘It is okay to feel wobbly. We will do our special squeeze, say ‘Assalamu alaikum’ to your teacher, and I will see you after story time’. Maintain a consistent goodbye cue, such as ‘Three hugs and one smile’. Lingering for a long time prolongs distress; a confident and gentle exit helps your child borrow your sense of calm. 

Hand the Child to a Safe Activity 

Coordinate with the school staff so that a preferred activity is ready for your child as you leave. A teacher can meet you at the door, prepared with a simple task like being the morning helper, looking after the class book basket, or organising stickers. Engaging in a purposeful action helps switch the child’s focus from protest to participation. 

Name and Normalise Feelings Later 

When you collect your child, debrief the morning briefly: ‘Drop-off felt difficult this morning, but you still managed to do the sticker job. That was very brave’. This approach combines honesty about their feelings with recognition of their competence. If crying is a frequent issue, consider keeping a simple feelings chart at home and practising small separations during playtime. For example, you can step into another room for thirty seconds and then return, celebrating the reunion each time. 

Strengthen the Parent-Child Bridge 

Create predictable points of reconnection after school, such as sharing a snack, giving five minutes of undivided attention, or having a calm check-in. Knowing that reunion is reliable helps to lower morning anxiety. If the tears persist beyond a few weeks, it is wise to screen for sensory triggers, fatigue, or other classroom stressors, and collaborate with the teacher on a structured plan. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Talaaq (65), Verses 3: 

‘…And whoever is reliant on Allah (Almighty), then He is Sufficient for him (in every way); indeed, Allah (Almighty) shall accomplish His command (in all matters); indeed, Allah (Almighty) has calibrated everything (in existence) with appropriate measure.’ 

Tawakkul is not a passive wish; it is a calm heart that acts with wisdom while trusting the outcome to Allah Almighty. A steady, loving goodbye is part of that action. You ground your child with a routine, acknowledge their fear with gentleness, and then release both of you into Allah’s protection. Over time, this shared practice of tawakkul teaches your child that uneasy moments can be walked through, not avoided. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 5095, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man goes out of his house and says: “In the name of Allah, I trust in Allah; there is no might and no power but in Allah,” the following will be said to him at that time: “You are guided, defended and protected.”‘ 

Make this the family’s leaving-home dua, recited aloud together at the door. This transforms the threshold into a place of remembrance. You model reliance, your child hears the promise of protection, and the goodbye becomes an act of worship rather than a moment of separation. Pair this dua with your brief ritual, entrust your child to their teacher with a smile, and walk away with a heart that remembers Who is truly guarding them. Over time, the tears will soften, confidence will grow, and your child will learn that courage is not the absence of fear, but the practice of stepping forward with Allah Almighty in mind.