Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge the Challenge 

If your child’s impulsivity makes it more difficult for them to behave, it is important to address the behaviour with understanding and with strategies that will help them to manage their impulses. Children with high impulsivity often act without thinking, and this can lead to difficulties in following rules, maintaining focus, or interacting appropriately with others. You can start by acknowledging the difficulty your child faces. For example, ‘I know you feel like acting quickly when you get upset, but we need to work on finding a better way to handle these feelings.’ 

Teach Calming Strategies 

You can teach your child strategies for slowing down and thinking before they act. One effective method is to encourage them to count to five or to take a deep breath before they react to situations. You could say, ‘Let us practice counting to five when you are upset. This will give you time to think about what you want to do next.’ Practising these techniques when your child is calm will make it easier for them to use them in the heat of the moment. 

Create a Consistent Routine 

It is helpful to create a consistent routine and clear expectations for your child. Children with impulsivity often do better when they know what to expect and what is expected of them. For example, you can create a daily schedule that includes time for schoolwork, play, and breaks. You should praise your child when they follow their routine or make a conscious effort to manage their impulsivity. ‘I am proud of you for stopping to think before you acted. That is a great step forward.’ 

Use Positive Reinforcement 

Using positive reinforcement when your child manages their impulsive behaviour is essential. Celebrate their small victories to encourage continued progress and remind them that change takes time. You might say, ‘It is okay to make mistakes, but the important thing is that you are learning how to make better choices.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, self-control and managing one’s impulses are essential components of good character. Allah Almighty teaches us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse teaches us that patience is key to overcoming challenges and to managing our emotions, which is essential when it comes to impulsivity. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised the importance of patience and self-control. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith reinforces that true strength lies in controlling our reactions and our impulses. By helping your child to manage their impulsivity with patience and consistent practice, you are teaching them to develop emotional control, which aligns with the teachings of Islam.