Parenting Perspective 

Acknowledge Their Pain First 

When a child says, ‘No one wants me there’, it often hides deeper layers of hurt, such as rejection, embarrassment, or a fear of not fitting in. The natural parental instinct is to fix the feeling by saying, ‘Of course they do!’ or ‘That is not true’. However, such reassurances, though well-intentioned, can make a child feel unheard. The first and most important step is to pause and acknowledge their emotion. Sit with them, offer a soft and caring presence, and respond with empathy: ‘That must have felt really difficult’. This simple act of validation makes them feel that their pain is safe with you and that their experience matters. 

Offer a Grounding Reassurance 

Once they feel understood, you can introduce a single, grounding line that combines comfort with strength. A gentle yet effective sentence could be: ‘Even if it feels that way, you still matter, to Allah Almighty and to me’. This statement restores a sense of belonging without denying the pain. It reminds your child that their worth does not depend on a particular group’s invitation but on the unshakeable value that Allah Almighty has placed within them. Other short, calm sentences that can help reconnect them to their worth include: 

• ‘You are wanted, even when people forget to show it.’ 

• ‘Sometimes they do not see your goodness yet, but Allah always does.’ 

Encourage Gentle Steps Forward 

After the moment of hurt has softened, you can invite gentle action. Ask, ‘Is there one person you could say hello to tomorrow?’ or ‘Would you like to help me plan something fun for us to do this weekend?’ This shifts their focus from rejection to initiative. Encourage micro-steps toward connection rather than pressuring them to ‘make more friends’. A child’s confidence is revived when they feel both seen at home and capable in the world. Always remind them that belonging starts from within; when they believe in their own value, others often begin to sense it too. 

Model a Culture of Belonging 

The family culture plays a vital role in healing feelings of exclusion. Make your home a place where every person’s voice is heard and valued. Share stories at dinner, celebrate small acts of kindness, and remind your child that family love is not conditional on their achievements or social success. When unconditional belonging is modelled within the family, the child learns to extend that sense of security outwards. They begin to approach friendships not from a place of desperation but from calm self-respect, a quality that quietly attracts healthy and lasting bonds. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quranic Reminder of Inherent Worth 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 70: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam; and fostered them over the land and the sea; and provided sustenance for them with purified nourishment; and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.‘ 

This verse powerfully reminds every believer, including a hurting child, that their dignity and worth are bestowed directly by Allah Almighty, not by the approval of others. When your child feels unwanted, gently teach them that no group’s opinion can erase the honour that Allah Himself has granted them. Their value is intrinsic and sacred. Encouraging them to remember this truth builds a spiritual self-worth that can withstand social highs and lows. 

The Prophetic Example of True Community 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer to the believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other.’ 

This hadith paints a beautiful vision of a community based on mutual support, not exclusion. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ made a point of noticing those who were overlooked by greeting the young, visiting the sick, and comforting those who felt left out. He reminded everyone that inclusion is an act of faith. Share this with your child so they know that even when they are in pain, reaching out to others mirrors the Prophet’s ﷺ mercy. 

When you respond to your child’s loneliness with calm empathy and faith-filled reassurance, you plant a lifelong shield against rejection in their heart. They learn that while people’s attention may fluctuate, the love of Allah Almighty never wavers. That one short line, ‘You still matter, to Allah and to me’, becomes not just a comfort, but a profound truth that steadies their heart for years to come.