Parenting Perspective 

Validate Their Feelings 

When your child feels left out for not fitting in, it is important to acknowledge their feelings and to provide support in helping them to understand their unique value. You can start by validating their emotions. You could say, ‘I understand that it is tough when you do not feel like you belong but remember that you are special just the way you are.’ This reassures your child that their feelings are normal and that it is okay to feel different sometimes. 

Focus on Their Strengths 

Encourage your child to focus on their strengths and the things that make them unique. Remind them that fitting in with everyone is not always important, and that true friendship is built on shared values, respect, and kindness. ‘Not everyone will understand you, but that does not mean you do not have value. You are a kind person, and you deserve to have friends who appreciate you for who you are.’ This reinforces the idea that being true to themselves is more important than conforming to what others expect. 

Find Like-Minded Peers 

Help your child to understand that there are different groups of people, and sometimes the ones they will fit in with are just waiting to be discovered. Encourage them to engage in activities where they can meet like-minded peers. ‘Let us try joining an activity or a club that interests you, as you might meet people who share the same interests.’ This can help your child to form meaningful friendships that are based on mutual respect and common values. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, individual uniqueness is celebrated as a part of Allah’s divine wisdom. Allah Almighty says in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Omniscient, the all Cognisant.’ 

This verse teaches that our differences, whether in our appearance, our background, or our personality, are a part of Allah’s design, and that our worth is determined by our righteousness, not by how well we fit in with others. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also taught that our value comes from our character and our actions, not from external factors. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 3587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The best of you are those who are the best to their families.’ 

This Hadith reinforces that true success and acceptance come from within, through good character and relationships, not from conforming to social pressures. By helping your child to navigate their feelings of exclusion with the understanding that their worth is rooted in their actions and their faith, you are guiding them to see their unique identity as something to be embraced with pride.