Parenting Perspective 

Countdowns, such as “Five more minutes until we leave,” are typically intended to prepare children for transitions.¹ However, for some children, this practice has the opposite effect, where the ticking clock triggers panic rather than reassurance. This occurs when the child’s nervous system interprets the countdown as a source of pressure rather than a tool for preparation; each number sounds like a threat that time is running out. The effective strategy, therefore, is to transition from attempting to manage time to deliberately modelling calm. 

Understand Why Countdowns Backfire 

For a child whose body is already experiencing tension, numeric countdowns amplify the feeling of urgency. Every minute called out is perceived as a reminder of losing control. Children who exhibit sensory sensitivity, heightened anxiety, or rigidity around transitions find this method particularly distressing. Acknowledging this physiological response allows parents to shift their approach from one of control to one of compassion. 

Replace Countdowns with Connection 

Connection is an antidote to the stress that numbers induce. Instead of resorting to the phrase, “Five minutes left,” parents should try descriptive cues that focus on the activity’s completion: ‘You can finish this level in the game, and then we will go,’ or ‘After you have finished this page in your book, we shall start lunch.’ 

Parents should intentionally infuse warmth through eye contact, calm touch, or humour. For younger children, contextual reminders—such as gently showing their coat or turning on soft transition music—are often much gentler than reminders based on the clock. 

Create Routines, Not Reminders 

Predictability offers greater comfort than precision. Parents should build a dependable rhythm rather than depending on strict timers: ‘After brushing your teeth, we will perform salah (prayer), and then the lights will be off.’ Established routines act as emotional maps; they teach the concept of time through consistent patterns, not urgent reminders. When the structure of the day is reliable, transitions cease to be perceived as losses. 

Offer Gentle Previews and Soft Landings 

Use soft previews to signal an upcoming change (‘We will leave soon after the adhan (call to prayer) is heard’) and reassuring closures to mark the transition’s end (‘When we return home, we shall have a glass of milk together’). This technique transforms the transition from an experience of loss into one of continuity. For the anxious child, pairing every ending with a small, comforting beginning generates emotional safety. 

Model Calm Energy 

Children are highly attuned to their parents’ non-verbal cues. If the parent’s voice sounds rushed, their own stress will be mirrored in the child. Parents must slow their pace, lower their voice, and keep their movements steady. When the parental rhythm communicates safety, the child’s nervous system naturally begins to follow. 

Spiritual Insight 

The struggle a child faces with countdowns reflects a universal human challenge concerning the perception of time: the underlying fear of endings and the innate desire for control. Islam offers a far gentler rhythm: to prepare with diligence, yet ultimately rest in Allah Almighty’s decree. Helping a child trust transitions is a foundational part of teaching Tawakkul (reliance upon Allah’s perfect timing). 

Calm Through Trust in Divine Timing 

The understanding of time in Islam replaces the pressure of human timing with serenity rooted in divine order. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Yunus (10), Verse 49: 

‘“…For every community, a (fixed) period has been set, and when that time comes, so nothing can delay that moment, and nothing can accelerate it”.’ 

This verse teaches that every moment, ending, and beginning arrives precisely when Allah Almighty wills it to. Parents can translate this for their child by saying: ‘We move when Allah allows the time to come—not too early, not too late.’ This spiritual reminder strengthens serenity instead of compounding fear. 

The Prophetic Model of Gentleness 

The Sunnah of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ provides the guiding light for every interaction, particularly those involving stress. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Gentleness is not found in anything but that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything but that it makes it defective.’ 

This Hadith serves as a critical instruction for managing transitions. Parents must replace countdowns with a deliberate application of kindness, predictability, and warmth. When a parent moves their child gently instead of urgently, they beautify the moment and embody prophetic compassion. Gentleness regulates the heart far more deeply and effectively than numbers ever can. 

Ultimately, the goal is not to train a child to obey a timer, but to help them trust that change can occur without fear. When transitions are guided with consistent gentleness and the remembrance of Allah Almighty, the home becomes a place where time itself feels merciful, aligned with faith, and never rushed.