Parenting Perspective 

Few questions unsettle a parent more than when their child asks, ‘But why is it wrong for me when all my friends are doing it?’ In that moment, the instinct may be to respond with sharp rules. Yet, what your child truly needs is a bridge between their faith and their need for belonging, a way to feel secure in both without feeling shame. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

Begin by recognising how difficult it is to feel set apart. Say calmly, ‘I understand it must be hard when your friends are excited about something you cannot join in with. Feeling that way does not make you weak; it makes you human.’ This simple validation can soften their resistance and shows that you are not dismissing their struggle. 

Explain with Wisdom, Not Just Rules 

Children are more receptive to explanations that highlight wisdom rather than only punishment. Instead of saying, ‘Because it is Haram, and that is final,’ guide them to see how certain content can normalise harmful ideas or lower one’s sense of modesty. Explain that restrictions in Islam are not about control but about protection, like a seatbelt that may feel restrictive but ultimately exists to save your life. 

Equip Them with Confident Responses 

Your child will inevitably face questions from their peers, so it is important to offer them simple, confident answers they can use. Role-playing a response like, ‘In my family, we try to avoid that kind of thing because it does not really match our values,’ can help them feel prepared and less embarrassed when the moment arrives. 

Offer Positive Alternatives 

Children accept limits more easily when they do not feel they are being deprived of all joy. Make a conscious effort to introduce them to wholesome media, inspiring documentaries, or fun family activities. By replacing the sense of loss with a sense of discovery, you can reframe their perspective. Next time they express frustration, instead of forbidding something, ask: ‘What do you think is the real impact of that content on your heart?’ Listen to their answer before sharing your own. 

Spiritual Insight 

Faith provides us with the framework to answer these difficult questions with dignity and clarity. Islam acknowledges that temptations will always exist, but it calls believers to consistently choose what uplifts the soul, even when that choice is unpopular. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 100: 

‘Say (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ): “The evil and the pure cannot be equated (in any way whatsoever), even though you may be bewildered by many of the evil actions; so, O you people of intellect (and wisdom) seek piety from Allah (Almighty), so that you may be successful”.’ 

This verse speaks directly to your child’s dilemma. It teaches a timeless lesson: just because many people are doing something does not make it good or right. The true measure of a thing’s worth is its intrinsic quality, not its popularity. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2669a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘You would tread the same path as was trodden by those before you inch by inch and step by step so much so that if they had entered into the hole of the lizard, you would follow them in this also…’ 

This hadith highlights the powerful, almost magnetic, pull of conformity. By discussing it with warmth, you can help your child to realise that feeling this pressure is not a sign of their own weakness but is, in fact, a timeless test that has been shared across many generations of believers. 

When you combine empathy with this profound wisdom, your child learns that being different is not about losing out on joy, but about walking a path that is guarded, purposeful, and filled with the mercy of Allah. The more you validate their struggle while offering them deeper meaning, the more resilient they will feel in standing apart, knowing that both your love and their faith are firmly on their side.