Parenting Perspective 

Remain Composed 

When your child screams or throws things, it is crucial to address the behaviour calmly and to guide them towards more constructive ways of expressing their frustration. The first step is to remain composed yourself, as reacting with anger or frustration will only escalate the situation. Approach your child calmly and let them know that their behaviour is not acceptable. You can say, ‘I understand that you are upset, but it is not okay to scream or to throw things. Let us talk about what is bothering you.’ 

Identify the Source of Frustration 

Next, you can help your child to identify the source of their frustration. Ask them what made them so angry or upset and listen attentively. Children often act out because they do not know how to express their emotions. By acknowledging their feelings, you help them to feel understood, which can calm them down. You might say, ‘It seems like you are frustrated because your toy broke. It is okay to feel upset, but throwing things does not fix the problem.’ 

Teach Alternative Expressions 

Teach your child alternative ways to express their anger or frustration. For example, you can encourage them to use words to explain how they feel, or to take deep breaths to calm down. You could role-play scenarios where your child can practise saying things like, ‘I am really angry right now,’ instead of screaming or throwing objects. 

Implement Consistent Consequences 

If the behaviour continues, it is important to implement consistent consequences. Let your child know that throwing things or screaming will result in a loss of privileges, such as a favourite activity. Praise them when they respond calmly to situations, as this reinforces positive behaviour. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, self-control and patience are highly valued, especially in moments of anger. Allah Almighty encourages us to maintain our composure and to respond with patience. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse highlights the virtue of patience, even in challenging situations, including those where we feel frustrated or angry. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ also emphasised controlling one’s anger and behaviour. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who can control themselves in moments of anger.’ 

This Hadith teaches us that true strength lies in our ability to remain calm and composed, especially when we are faced with difficult emotions. By teaching your child to control their anger and to express their feelings in a calm manner, you are helping them to embody these Islamic values of patience, self-control, and emotional resilience.