Parenting Perspective 

Address the behaviour without embarrassment 

When a child eats food uninvited at someone’s home, it often stems from curiosity or comfort, not deliberate disrespect. The goal is to correct the behaviour gently while preserving their dignity. It is best to wait until you are alone with your child to discuss it. 

Begin with calm empathy: ‘It seems you were hungry or excited and forgot to ask first’. Then, teach the missing skill rather than focusing only on the mistake: ‘When we are at someone’s house, we need to wait to be offered food, or we can ask politely if it is okay to have some’. This approach reframes the correction as training, not humiliation. 

If the host notices, apologise lightly on your child’s behalf without scolding them publicly: ‘I think they were a bit excited. Thank you for your understanding’. Afterwards, help your child make amends by saying thank you properly and showing gratitude before leaving. Avoid exaggerated reactions, as children learn better through consistency and a calm tone than through shame. 

Create a routine of permission and gratitude 

At home, you can rehearse polite scripts before future visits. Use role-play where you pretend to be the host, and your child practises asking, ‘May I please have one?’ or waiting quietly to be served. Teach them to take only what is offered and to eat small portions so that others can also share. 

Reinforce gratitude at every step: ‘We always thank the host for what they share’. After each visit, help your child to reflect: ‘What did you do well in showing good manners today? What could we improve on next time?’. 

If this overeagerness repeats, you can add a “Before we go” rule. Have your child eat a small snack at home, then review a three-point reminder with them: Ask, Wait, and Thank. Over time, this becomes automatic and helps your child to feel confident and courteous in social settings. 

Model the behaviour you expect 

Children imitate adults. Let your child see you refuse food politely, accept it graciously, and show restraint when it is served elsewhere. You can narrate your actions to them: ‘I will wait until our host offers us something. It is their home, so we follow their lead’. These quiet demonstrations can shape habits more effectively than lectures ever could. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places deep emphasis on the manners of hospitality. Eating without permission crosses boundaries of respect, even if it is done innocently. Teaching children to wait, ask, and express gratitude trains them in both humility and self-control, which are qualities loved by Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 27-28: 

‘O those of you who are believers, do not enter houses (of other people) except your own homes; unless you have permission from them, (and when you do) say Salaams upon the inhabitants; this is better for you (so that you can respect each other’s privacy) in (the application of) your thinking. And if you do not find anyone in the house, then do not enter it until permission has been granted to you…’ 

This verse teaches that consent and courtesy begin before even stepping into someone’s home, and this extends naturally to their food and belongings. Teaching your child to wait and ask before eating echoes this divine etiquette. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6139, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should honour his guest’. 

This Hadith reminds us that hosts hold the honour of offering, not guests the right of taking. When your child learns to wait, they uphold this prophetic balance of respect and generosity. You can tell them: ‘When we wait to be served, we honour our host, and Allah blesses our manners’. 

Remind your child that eating is not just about filling the stomach but also about expressing gratitude. Every bite from someone else’s table is a trust and a test of good manners (adab). May Allah Almighty bless your child with patience, courtesy, and awareness, so they grow into guests whose manners bring joy wherever they are invited.