Parenting Perspective 

Name the Pressure and Steady the Compass 

Begin by clearly naming the dynamic: this is not a harmless favour; it is an explicit request to cross a moral line. Tell your child, ‘When someone says, “just this once,” they are essentially asking you to take their risk.’ Separating the person from deceptive behaviour reduces guilt and clarifies their choice. 

Ask them to observe their body’s reaction. Tight shoulders, a twist in the stomach, or racing thoughts often signal that their conscience has already spoken and is trying to warn them. 

Give a Simple Decision Ladder 

Coach a three-step internal ladder your child can use immediately when pressured: 

1. Pause: Breathe deeply and buy time with, ‘Let me think about that for a second.’ 

2. Principle: Repeat a short inner line, such as, ‘I keep my word clean.’ 

3. Kind No: Use a calm script: ‘I cannot do that. However, I can help you plan it properly. 

Role-play the calm tone and posture at home, so the refusal is delivered gently but firmly. If the pressure persists, teach me a graceful exit: ‘I am heading to class now. Hope it goes well for you. 

Offer Ethical Alternatives 

Show your child how they can remain helpful without lying. They can brainstorm ideas, share their own planning checklist, or clearly explain the correct method. This retains kindness while protecting integrity. 

• Encourage phrases that redirect the focus: ‘I can show you how I structured my own work,’ or ‘I can proofread your notes, but I will not change any facts for you.’ 

• Practise these lines until they sound natural and helpful, not defiant or judgmental. 

Reduce Social Leverage 

Pressure intensifies when a child fears losing a friendship or group acceptance. Actively widen their social circles so that one person does not hold all the control over their sense of belonging. 

• Help them map three reliable anchors each week: a study buddy set, a sport or arts activity, and a service circle at the masjid (mosque). 

When identity is healthily spread across multiple spaces, saying ‘no’ does not feel like a social free fall. 

Partner With Adults and Protect the Record 

If the request violates school rules or involves academic dishonesty, advise your child to inform a trusted teacher early. This should be done as a safeguard, not a complaint: ‘I was asked to change some details. I refused. If any rumours start, this is why I am telling you.’ 

Online: Teach them to avoid replying in anger. Silence and screenshots protect their integrity; angry texts can be used as evidence against them. Maintain consistent routines for sleep, Salah (prayer), meals, and movement; a regulated body carries a braver tongue. 

Spiritual Insight 

Be With the Truthful, Not the Convenient 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 119: 

‘O you who are believers, seek piety from Allah (Almighty) and (always) be in the company of the truthful (people).’ 

This ayah (verse) directly addresses the ‘just this once’ trap. It ties God-consciousness (taqwa) to the company one keeps. To ‘be with the truthful’ means to align oneself with people and choices that keep the tongue and character clean. 

Explain to your child that bending the truth for acceptance moves them out of the company praised by Allah Almighty. When they decline a dishonest favour but offer a fair alternative, they are obeying this command in real time. If they feel isolated, remind them that this verse anchors them to a completely different group: the truthful, witnessed and supported by Allah Almighty, even when their peers disagree. 

Truthfulness Builds a Destiny, One Choice at a Time 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise.’ 

This hadith (Reference: Sahih Bukhari 6094, Book 78, Hadith 121) does more than praise honesty; it describes a clear, eternal path: truthful words shape righteous habits, and righteous habits shape one’s ultimate outcome. 

Use this with your child as a daily filter. Ask: ‘Does this request move you along the truth-to-righteousness path, or the lie-to-loss path?’ Even a small falsehood pollutes trust, invites bigger lies, and erodes self-respect. Conversely, one courageous ‘no’ strengthens the heart for the next test. Share that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ modelled kindness without compromise; he helped, guided, and forgave, yet he never traded truth for social ease. 

Invite your child to make a private intention before facing their peers: ‘O Allah, let my tongue be truthful and my help be clean.’ Encourage a tiny act of repair if they slip, such as correcting the record quickly and apologising without excuse. Over time, these small choices script a life where courage is gentle, friendships are honest, and the pleasure of Allah Almighty matters more than the smile of a crowd.