Parenting Perspective 

When an older child copies the mischief of a younger one, it is almost always an emotional signal rather than a behavioural flaw. The older sibling may feel displaced, overshadowed, or unseen. What looks like regression is often a longing for the warmth, laughter, or gentle correction that the younger child seems to receive. In that moment, they are not seeking trouble; they are seeking you. Recognising this is the foundation for addressing the behaviour without humiliation or frustration. 

Understand the Emotion Beneath the Behaviour 

Older siblings often live under the quiet expectation of ‘knowing better.’ They may see the younger child’s mistakes earn attention, hugs, or laughter, while their own good behaviour seems invisible. Copying mischief becomes a shortcut back into your spotlight. When you respond calmly, not with comparison but with curiosity, the child learns that their need for attention is valid but can be expressed differently. A gentle comment such as, ‘I can see you wanted to join in, let us find a better way,’ acknowledges the emotion without reinforcing the behaviour. 

Balance Fairness with Emotional Presence 

A common mistake is to say, ‘You are older; you should behave better.’ This statement may sound fair, but it often wounds deeply, making the older child feel punished for growing up. Instead, focus on fairness of affection, not of age. Reassure them that love is not divided by maturity. You might say, ‘You and your brother are both precious to me. I trust you to help me teach him kindly.’ This language restores dignity and builds a bridge instead of a wall. 

Offer Special Moments of One-to-One Connection 

Set aside small, consistent rituals of private connection with your older child, such as bedtime talks, quick car rides, or shared tasks. These moments communicate, ‘You still have a unique place in my world.’ When children feel emotionally secure, they stop fighting for visibility. Try to make these moments predictable rather than random; routine signals reliability, and reliability builds peace. 

Redirect Imitation into Leadership 

When the imitation arises, gently guide it into an opportunity for leadership. Invite the older child to model something positive for their sibling: ‘Can you show him how to build this tower carefully, like you did yesterday?’ When they are praised for their maturity, they realise that attention can be earned through responsibility, not rebellion. This praise must be specific: ‘I love how you waited your turn so patiently; that really helps me.’ 

When parents interpret this imitation as communication and not disobedience, the dynamic transforms. The goal is not to suppress their mischief, but to restore their emotional security. Attention given through genuine connection prevents attention sought through chaos. 

Spiritual Insight 

Sibling dynamics are powerful mirrors of human emotion, where jealousy, admiration, affection, and rivalry all coexist. Islam guides parents to nurture mercy and fairness among their children, because these early bonds become their moral training ground. 

Quranic Guidance on Brotherhood 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

This verse reminds parents that establishing peace and reconciliation within the home is a sacred duty. When an older child competes for attention, they are mirroring the ancient human need for love and belonging. Parents must act as peacemakers, ensuring no child feels inferior or invisible. Fairness, affection, and justice in parenting reflect taqwa, a consciousness that Allah Almighty is watching how we distribute our attention and mercy. 

The Prophetic Model of Emotional Equity 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ modelled extraordinary fairness and tenderness towards children. He never shamed a child for their behaviour but responded with balance, showing mercy for the young and respect for the older. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4943, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever does not show mercy to our young ones and does not realise the right of our elders is not from us.’ 

This Hadith reflects the perfect harmony that Islam expects within families, with mercy flowing downward and respect flowing upward. Parents can embody this balance by ensuring both children feel seen according to their unique emotional needs: the younger through patience, and the older through trust and honour. When a parent praises the older child’s wisdom or kindly invites their help, it echoes the Prophet’s ﷺ approach of affirming worth without comparison. Misbehaviour then loses its purpose, as the child learns that maturity is not a burden but a badge of love. 

In every home, competition for attention can become training in compassion. If parents respond to sibling imitation with empathy, wisdom, and spiritual grounding, they teach their children that love is not a resource to fight for, but a mercy to be multiplied. This approach not only calms rivalry but also reflects the divine justice and tenderness that Allah Almighty commands. Through this lens, every moment of mischief becomes an opportunity to teach fairness, build trust, and raise hearts that know both mercy and respect.