Parenting Perspective 

For many children, chores carry the flavour of punishment because of how they are introduced, timed, or spoken about. A child who hears, ‘Go clean your room right now,’ only after being scolded, will link chores with correction rather than care. What parents intend as training for life often lands in the child’s mind as a consequence for misbehaviour. 

Why Chores Feel Like Punishment 

Children equate freedom with love. Anything that interrupts their play, rest, or personal choice feels like a restriction. If chores are always framed as duties imposed after mistakes, they come to symbolise loss rather than growth. This explains why many children groan at the word ‘chores,’ as though it strips away their joy. 

Shifting the Lens to Cooperation 

Parents can reframe chores by making them a natural part of shared living. A parent might say, ‘We all enjoy eating together, so we all clear the table together.’ This language connects chores to the love that binds the family. Instead of a parent-versus-child dynamic, the focus turns to cooperation. The message becomes: responsibility is not punishment, but a partnership. 

When Love Is Hidden in Effort 

Children rarely recognise that behind household tasks lies love: folded clothes mean care for comfort, and cooked food means a sacrifice of time. By inviting children into that rhythm—‘When you sweep the floor, you help make the house peaceful for all of us’—parents reveal that chores themselves are acts of love. Over time, children learn that giving effort is a way of expressing affection. 

Modelling the Joy of Service 

If parents carry resentment when doing chores, children will mirror it. If instead, parents approach tasks with calmness and sometimes even warmth—singing while washing dishes, or smiling when folding laundry—children internalise that chores can be infused with peace. Cooperation then becomes a pathway to joy rather than a burden. 

A Micro-Action to Try 

Next time you begin a chore, invite your child with a phrase of connection, such as: ‘Come, let us lighten each other’s load.’ This tiny shift frames the task as a shared act of care, not imposed labour. 

Spiritual Insight 

Faith transforms ordinary acts into meaningful service. Islam teaches that even the smallest deeds done with sincerity can become worship when rooted in cooperation and love. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 2-3: 

‘Indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This verse reminds us that human success lies in shared deeds, truth, and patience. Chores, though humble, are opportunities to practise this together. When children tidy, wash, or cook alongside their family, they embody righteousness in simple but profound forms. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:  

‘The most beloved deeds to Allah are those that are most consistent, even if small.’ 

Chores are small, repeated acts, yet when done consistently and with the intention of care, they become beloved deeds. Parents can explain to children that every effort, no matter how ordinary, is noticed by Allah Almighty when it eases the life of others. 

By weaving love, gratitude, and cooperation into the language of responsibility, children begin to unlearn the idea of chores as a form of punishment. Instead, they discover that family duties are ways of expressing care, belonging, and faith. In this light, even sweeping the floor or setting the table becomes an echo of love, felt in both the home and the heart.