Parenting Perspective 

Children often expect enthusiastic recognition for every chore because they are still developing their sense of identity and self-worth. For them, a simple task like sweeping the floor or setting the table feels like a major achievement, and they look to parents for affirmation. Adults, on the other hand, have internalised responsibility as part of life and no longer seek constant praise. 

The Gap in Maturity 

The gap lies in maturity. Children equate praise with proof that their effort matters. If thanks is absent, they may feel invisible or conclude that their work is not valuable. While it is important to appreciate children’s efforts, parents can gradually help them shift from needing constant thanks to recognising the inner reward of contribution. 

From Approval to Intrinsic Motivation 

A helpful way is to balance recognition with reflection. After thanking your child, guide them to notice the outcome: ‘See how the room feels fresh now that you tidied it. How does that feel to you?’ This helps them link satisfaction to the result, not only to parental approval. Over time, this builds intrinsic motivation. 

It is also worth explaining that gratitude in a family flows both ways. Parents do not receive applause for cooking daily meals or fixing things around the house, yet their work sustains everyone. Helping children notice unseen efforts teaches them that service is most meaningful when it is given without expectation of constant reward. 

Micro-Action to Try 

A micro-action is to occasionally invite your child to thank another family member for a quiet act of service. This practice cultivates awareness and teaches them that chores are rooted in mutual respect, not constant applause. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours gratitude as a central value, but it also teaches that deeds done sincerely for Allah Almighty carry their own reward, even if unnoticed by people. Chores within the family become training grounds for this balance—to show gratitude when receiving help, but also to serve with humility without seeking constant recognition. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Insaan (76), Verse 9: 

‘Indeed, (they say in their hearts): “We are only feeding you for the sake of Allah (Almighty); we do not seek from you any reward or any gratitude”.’ 

This verse instils the ideal of selfless service. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 218, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:  

 ‘He who does not thank people does not thank Allah.’ 

These teachings together guide a middle path: we thank each other as a sign of respect, but we also learn to act without attachment to constant acknowledgement. For children, this means that while their efforts should be recognised, they must also be gently taught that true value lies in fulfilling responsibility with sincerity. In time, they will discover that serving family with humility, even without applause, is not degrading but deeply rewarding in the sight of Allah Almighty.