Parenting Perspective 

Children often invent excuses to avoid chores because the emotional core is resistance mixed with fear of criticism. Cleaning can feel tedious, overwhelming, or like a reflection of personal failure if done imperfectly. When they fear negative judgement or punishment, they may resort to excuses rather than risk disappointment. Understanding that excuses often mask anxiety or low confidence helps parents respond with empathy and strategy rather than frustration. 

Name the Feeling and Validate 

Begin by acknowledging the emotion behind the excuses: ‘I can see that tidying up feels frustrating right now.’ Validation reassures your child that you recognise their feelings without condoning avoidance. 

Shift Focus from Blame to Effort 

Encourage a mindset where effort is celebrated more than perfection: ‘It is not about doing everything perfectly, but about helping the household and learning responsibility.’ Parents can model this by completing tasks alongside their child, demonstrating that contribution matters more than flawlessness, making excuses less compelling. 

Offer Choice and Ownership 

Giving children a sense of control diminishes the need for excuses. Invite them to choose the order or timing of small chores: ‘Would you like to sweep the floor first or put the laundry away?’ Choice empowers children, transforms tasks into personal responsibility, and reduces the perception that chores are arbitrary impositions. 

Micro-Action to Try 

Offer a small, manageable first step: ‘Let us put away just the toys in this corner first and see how quickly we can do it together.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam emphasises sincerity, effort, and honesty in all actions. Avoiding tasks through excuses undermines growth, while facing responsibility cultivates moral integrity and patience. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran in Surah Al Mujadilah (58), Verse 11: 

‘…(And in return) Allah (Almighty) shall elevate those who are believers amongst you, and those people who are given the knowledge (of existential reality) in various stages…’ 

This verse reminds us that diligence and responsibility are valued and elevate both character and spiritual standing. 

I It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2644, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:  

 ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless.’ 

By framing chores as opportunities to strengthen character and contribute meaningfully, parents help children see responsibility as empowering rather than punitive. Excuses diminish when effort, honesty, and engagement are recognised, fostering a sense of agency, self-respect, and spiritual alignment under the guidance of Allah Almighty.