Parenting Perspective 

Children’s anxiety about chores in front of relatives often stems from a deep-seated fear of judgment and social comparison. The emotional core is self-consciousness: they worry that their effort might be criticised, ignored, or seem inferior to others. This fear can make even simple household tasks feel like public trials, leading to hesitation or avoidance. Recognising this helps parents respond with reassurance and modelling rather than criticism, transforming the chore from a source of shame into an opportunity to build confidence and pride. 

Normalise Effort and Highlight Dignity 

Start by naming the feeling: ‘I understand it can feel awkward to do chores while guests are here.’ Validating the discomfort removes the sense of personal failing. Frame chores as acts of contribution rather than chores to impress others: ‘By setting the table or sweeping the floor, you are helping our home run smoothly, and that is important.’ 

Emphasise Pride Over Performance 

Shift attention from potential judgment to the intrinsic value of effort: ‘It feels good to know you helped make the house welcoming for everyone.’ Encourage children to notice the practical difference their contribution makes rather than imagining how it will be evaluated. Repetition of this mindset gradually builds internal pride, so chores cease to be a source of embarrassment and instead become an opportunity to feel capable and useful. 

Use Preparation and Shared Responsibility 

Before visitors arrive, involve children in planning what tasks they can contribute to, giving them choice and control: ‘Which part of the living room would you like to help tidy?’ This empowers them and reduces anxiety, as they participate intentionally rather than being compelled. 

Micro-Action to Try 

A micro-action could be having the child perform one small, visible task while you model the same behaviour—demonstrating that participation is natural and dignified. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values sincere contribution, humility, and effort, regardless of who is observing. Chores performed with intention cultivate character and are seen by Allah Almighty, even if no one else notices. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran in Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 272: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) you are not (ultimately) responsible for their guidance, however, it is Allah (Almighty) Who guides whoever He desires; and (O Muslims) whatever you spend for goodness, (ultimately) it is for your own benefit…’ 

This verse reminds children that sincere effort carries intrinsic reward and dignity, independent of external recognition. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1901, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and receive good news.’ 

By modelling calm participation, giving choice, and emphasizing the inherent value of effort, parents help children view chores as natural, dignified acts rather than sources of shame. Over time, children internalise pride in contribution, learning that responsibility and sincerity matter more than appearances, and that every act of effort is valued under the watchful care of Allah Almighty.